Not QUITE the move we had planned...the CG has decided to keep Nick in Bama for an extra year. Instead of leaving in 2009 we will be leaving in 2010. There are pros and cons that follow. One plus is that we are leaving our p.o.s apartment. After spending the last 9 months here I feel like the side of town we're on, the complex we're in, and the people we are surrounded by are...not right. So since we have to stay we might as well plant ourselves in an area we like in an apartment complex we're really happy with!
So as Nick has been singing, we are moving on up (the apartment is an upgrade to say the least), to the top (upstairs apt. vs. our current ground floor), eeeeeastide (of the Bay, lol).
We are going to be living in a BRAND NEW apt: Two bed, two bath, electric fireplace, vaulted ceilings...sigh...never (well practically never) before walked on soft, amazing carpet...never before used bathtubs! YES! Move in date is the end of Oct, but you better bet the second we have the place looking nice, I'll have some pictures:)
Monday, September 29, 2008
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Finally: Puppy videos:)
Finally [with the help of Flo] I have figured out how to share my videos! Can I just say...I LOVE MY PUPPY! These are of Hutch right before his 5 month birthday! The first one is of him 'racing' around the house. My cousin Amy said the sudden burst of puppy energy is called a Zoomie (not sure of the spelling). The second is of him in my in laws back yard running around while we visited home a week ago. When he jumps in the bushes you can see his cute lil head pop up, haha.
It brings me back...
Hearing the sound of a train is soothing. It makes me think of visiting my Granny's house. At night as I laid in bed I could hear the trains coming through town.
Swimming makes me feel competitive. It takes me back to all of my races...
Finding 'true' Gelato is refreshing. It makes me think of my trips to Europe.
Does a smell, a thought, a taste, etc. ever make you think of a time, moment, or emotion in your life? A few things really take me back. I never just sit and think about it, until today, I was in the shower listening to my ipod and 'Josie' by Blink 182 come on.
I could remember it SO clearly. I was on my way home from class and Nick called. At this time we weren't overly serious and he was at his most 'care free' period. Not the most sensitive or thoughtful man in the world, not having much relationship experience he was learning day by day...which made this phone call that much more special. Mainly because I often wondered, how often does he think of me when I'm not around? Does he include me in his future plans? Do things make him think of me throughout his day, like things make me think of him?
Nick: I just heard a song that made me think about you.
Me: Oh really and what would that be?
Nick: No, I want to listen to it together...
And so at some point that evening we did. And while the words aren't sappy and lovey dovey, if you know me, you know I'd hate that...and I guess if you read the lyrics you'd 'hmmm?' however, at this point in his life, as I said, he was care free, independent, and really big on friends...and I felt after hearing the words...I had made it. I wasn't just a girlfriend. I felt appreciated, like he knew what he had. Someone to make him laugh, someone that would be there for him, to brighten his day, pick him up...
We're approaching nearly 4 years since he first told me about this song. I can remember each second of the phone call and listening to the song together as if it just happened yesterday...I like when something or someone meant so much that it can bring you back to a time, a moment, an emotion.
[And in case you go search these lyrics, go ahead and disregard the bulge comment;) That line does not apply;)]
Swimming makes me feel competitive. It takes me back to all of my races...
Finding 'true' Gelato is refreshing. It makes me think of my trips to Europe.
Does a smell, a thought, a taste, etc. ever make you think of a time, moment, or emotion in your life? A few things really take me back. I never just sit and think about it, until today, I was in the shower listening to my ipod and 'Josie' by Blink 182 come on.
I could remember it SO clearly. I was on my way home from class and Nick called. At this time we weren't overly serious and he was at his most 'care free' period. Not the most sensitive or thoughtful man in the world, not having much relationship experience he was learning day by day...which made this phone call that much more special. Mainly because I often wondered, how often does he think of me when I'm not around? Does he include me in his future plans? Do things make him think of me throughout his day, like things make me think of him?
Nick: I just heard a song that made me think about you.
Me: Oh really and what would that be?
Nick: No, I want to listen to it together...
And so at some point that evening we did. And while the words aren't sappy and lovey dovey, if you know me, you know I'd hate that...and I guess if you read the lyrics you'd 'hmmm?' however, at this point in his life, as I said, he was care free, independent, and really big on friends...and I felt after hearing the words...I had made it. I wasn't just a girlfriend. I felt appreciated, like he knew what he had. Someone to make him laugh, someone that would be there for him, to brighten his day, pick him up...
We're approaching nearly 4 years since he first told me about this song. I can remember each second of the phone call and listening to the song together as if it just happened yesterday...I like when something or someone meant so much that it can bring you back to a time, a moment, an emotion.
[And in case you go search these lyrics, go ahead and disregard the bulge comment;) That line does not apply;)]
Friday, September 19, 2008
Oh, the insanity.
Albert Einstein is reported to have said: "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results."
This would lead me to believe if you were being remotely honest you would agree at some point in your life you have been...insane. And if you were being blatantly honest you would agree at many times in your life you have been insane.
Why is it that we do the same things again and again and expect different results?
In school, maybe you don't study for tests, but expect to squeak by...and don't...yet you continue to...not study. In relationships, maybe you continue to let a guy (or girl) take advantage of you expecting in the end they will change and you will live the 'happily ever after'.
I am just wondering at what point you learn. I think upon graduating college and getting engaged I realized...I'm a big girl now. To go off on a tangent withe little relevance...saying I'm a big girl makes me think of 6th grade lunches with Erin. This girl taught me every theme song and commercial lyrics worthy of being sung. IIIIII don't want to grow up, I'm a toys r us kid...there's a million toys at toys r us that...
ANYWAYS, upon graduating college and getting engaged it was clear...my life would be spent with another. In the future we would be having children and it would be spent molding and shaping them to be the best they can be...and I realized I needed to handle all situations in a wise and responsible manner that would not negatively effect me or others (physically or emotionally). So for me 21-22 was when I saw my light bulb. For other 21-22 year olds this could be their drunken haze stage. They may rarely think of others or themselves. They do drastic dramatic things often...whatever feels good at the moment....so when will they get the light bulb? Some kids may have grown up too fast and they see the light bulb way to early...
I know life isn't about being rational and making rational decisions. I'm not perfect now nor have I ever been and I think in my short 23 years I have experienced so many things this great world has to offer. You learn, you grow, you change, you experience. I guess I'm glad to have found my light bulb. I feel like I'm in charge of my life. I'm happy with where I'm at and pleased with who I've become. I just see things sometimes...people...sometimes...and wonder when...the light bulb will go on for them. If ever.
This would lead me to believe if you were being remotely honest you would agree at some point in your life you have been...insane. And if you were being blatantly honest you would agree at many times in your life you have been insane.
Why is it that we do the same things again and again and expect different results?
In school, maybe you don't study for tests, but expect to squeak by...and don't...yet you continue to...not study. In relationships, maybe you continue to let a guy (or girl) take advantage of you expecting in the end they will change and you will live the 'happily ever after'.
I am just wondering at what point you learn. I think upon graduating college and getting engaged I realized...I'm a big girl now. To go off on a tangent withe little relevance...saying I'm a big girl makes me think of 6th grade lunches with Erin. This girl taught me every theme song and commercial lyrics worthy of being sung. IIIIII don't want to grow up, I'm a toys r us kid...there's a million toys at toys r us that...
ANYWAYS, upon graduating college and getting engaged it was clear...my life would be spent with another. In the future we would be having children and it would be spent molding and shaping them to be the best they can be...and I realized I needed to handle all situations in a wise and responsible manner that would not negatively effect me or others (physically or emotionally). So for me 21-22 was when I saw my light bulb. For other 21-22 year olds this could be their drunken haze stage. They may rarely think of others or themselves. They do drastic dramatic things often...whatever feels good at the moment....so when will they get the light bulb? Some kids may have grown up too fast and they see the light bulb way to early...
I know life isn't about being rational and making rational decisions. I'm not perfect now nor have I ever been and I think in my short 23 years I have experienced so many things this great world has to offer. You learn, you grow, you change, you experience. I guess I'm glad to have found my light bulb. I feel like I'm in charge of my life. I'm happy with where I'm at and pleased with who I've become. I just see things sometimes...people...sometimes...and wonder when...the light bulb will go on for them. If ever.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Home is a state of mind.
After spending the last ten days at home I've realized:
-I love my [true] friends.
-I love my family.
-La Nop is and always will be the best Mexican ever.
-Your parents really are cool and spending time with them is fun.
-There isn't enough time in a day...or ten.
-My dog and I are quite the pair.
-I need to talk to Erin more.
-Distance makes the heart grow fonder.
-Pita Pit has good pitas.
-Your exes really can stay your friends.
-Some people move forward, some people move backward, and some people never move at all.
-Saying Ray isn't near as fun as saying Ray-mone.
-My sister is cool.
-Enchanted has an amazing soundtrack.
-I miss 4th grade.
-At some point in my life I have to live on a river.
-My heart is in Alabama.
-My family is in Florida.
-Home is a state of mind.
-I love my [true] friends.
-I love my family.
-La Nop is and always will be the best Mexican ever.
-Your parents really are cool and spending time with them is fun.
-There isn't enough time in a day...or ten.
-My dog and I are quite the pair.
-I need to talk to Erin more.
-Distance makes the heart grow fonder.
-Pita Pit has good pitas.
-Your exes really can stay your friends.
-Some people move forward, some people move backward, and some people never move at all.
-Saying Ray isn't near as fun as saying Ray-mone.
-My sister is cool.
-Enchanted has an amazing soundtrack.
-I miss 4th grade.
-At some point in my life I have to live on a river.
-My heart is in Alabama.
-My family is in Florida.
-Home is a state of mind.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Giving into a weak emotion.
I have always...ok, no, that's a lie...I have for the last 5 years...considered myself to be an independent, responsible, strong, open, realistic person.
I'd say it began during my first trip to Europe. During the trip I found so many things: importance of a good strong friendship, appreciation for different cultures, independence, etc. That started the end of my 2 year relationship. I needed to be free and on my own. Let me insert, Ryan, my boyfriend then, was an amazing boyfriend and friend! I still enjoy having him in my life to this day! Although in the end we weren't meant to be, he is now making a wonderful girl happy and he deserves great things:)
As I found my independence on that trip and as I discovered a whole new world, way of living, and interest in bigger and better things...I grew. While I still loved friends and family a part of me grew separate from them and I was happy to feel...like an adult. Like an adult that could function happily on her own.
A year later I met Nick. Who knew he would be my future husband? Who knew he would join the military? So many things change from day to day. None of the "could be's" seemed to matter then because as I said, I was independent;) Whatever came to be would...eventually...come to be. And I was sure I could take it all on!
Then my love grew...and grew...and grew and grew...and I realized...I didn't want to be independent. I say this meaning...reliant ONLY on myself...I wanted to rely on Nick and I wanted him to rely on me...in any way...in many ways...
The Coast Guard took him several places...all away from me...and I continued to feel strong...suddenly...lately, I don't. Because of the hurricanes Nick has been in and out for the last week and this morning was the last time I will see him for two weeks. He saw my sadness and asked what would happen when we started 'cutter life'. I said, "Cry every single day:(". Which...I won't. I'd like to still think I'm realistic and independent enough to make it through that with as little sadness as possible. Trying to maintain my life as normally as I can with my other half missing for potentially months at a time...
It's just funny because I don't think when you dive in head first, with butterflies, dates, cuddles, hugs, kisses, smiles, growing feelings, building plans...you realize in the midst of loving someone so much it can hurt so bad. I say I'm ready to get out of this town. Experience a new place with my husband, get his sea time...but when I go...I think I'll realize what I had here...him...almost always. I really shouldn't complain. So many have it way worse. Not just other CG families, but other military families with their fathers, husbands, sons, etc in Iraq for years at a time...
It's just difficult. Another obstacle to overcome, another test, another lesson, another opportunity for me to grow in a new way...it just...umm...
SUCKS:)
I'd say it began during my first trip to Europe. During the trip I found so many things: importance of a good strong friendship, appreciation for different cultures, independence, etc. That started the end of my 2 year relationship. I needed to be free and on my own. Let me insert, Ryan, my boyfriend then, was an amazing boyfriend and friend! I still enjoy having him in my life to this day! Although in the end we weren't meant to be, he is now making a wonderful girl happy and he deserves great things:)
As I found my independence on that trip and as I discovered a whole new world, way of living, and interest in bigger and better things...I grew. While I still loved friends and family a part of me grew separate from them and I was happy to feel...like an adult. Like an adult that could function happily on her own.
A year later I met Nick. Who knew he would be my future husband? Who knew he would join the military? So many things change from day to day. None of the "could be's" seemed to matter then because as I said, I was independent;) Whatever came to be would...eventually...come to be. And I was sure I could take it all on!
Then my love grew...and grew...and grew and grew...and I realized...I didn't want to be independent. I say this meaning...reliant ONLY on myself...I wanted to rely on Nick and I wanted him to rely on me...in any way...in many ways...
The Coast Guard took him several places...all away from me...and I continued to feel strong...suddenly...lately, I don't. Because of the hurricanes Nick has been in and out for the last week and this morning was the last time I will see him for two weeks. He saw my sadness and asked what would happen when we started 'cutter life'. I said, "Cry every single day:(". Which...I won't. I'd like to still think I'm realistic and independent enough to make it through that with as little sadness as possible. Trying to maintain my life as normally as I can with my other half missing for potentially months at a time...
It's just funny because I don't think when you dive in head first, with butterflies, dates, cuddles, hugs, kisses, smiles, growing feelings, building plans...you realize in the midst of loving someone so much it can hurt so bad. I say I'm ready to get out of this town. Experience a new place with my husband, get his sea time...but when I go...I think I'll realize what I had here...him...almost always. I really shouldn't complain. So many have it way worse. Not just other CG families, but other military families with their fathers, husbands, sons, etc in Iraq for years at a time...
It's just difficult. Another obstacle to overcome, another test, another lesson, another opportunity for me to grow in a new way...it just...umm...
SUCKS:)
Monday, September 1, 2008
Dear Mr. Television,
Today you bring me joy. I don't even know where to begin or put my deepest focus. The options you provide me with are plentiful and very much appreciated. Channels 2 to 200, offering 90210 to High School Confidential Marathons, SEASON PREMIERES of Gossip Girl and One Tree Hill... I feel blessed to own you.
Rising at 9:30 with no plans of leaving the couch until quite possibly the same time this evening, I will be enjoying a relaxing rainy day with you.
Sincerely,
Ashley
Rising at 9:30 with no plans of leaving the couch until quite possibly the same time this evening, I will be enjoying a relaxing rainy day with you.
Sincerely,
Ashley
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